The Blues

I think I have the blues. I wouldn't say it was depression because I did get out of bed, shower, do my makeup, go to the gym, and take my kids to swimming but I am low. The end of my summer vacation is a week from today (I know some of you are saying 'WTF I don't even get a summer vacation what is she bitching about'; you more than likely make a lot more than I do a year--public school educator remember). I got back from Maui on Monday and I have missed it ever since. Not the actual 'I want to move there' or 'I want to be back on vacation'; it's more like 'I want to live there on the beach and never work another day of my life, just snorkel and watch the ocean'. Completely unrealistic I know. I am usually so pumped for the new school year by now and this year I'm not. I need one of those fun meetings where people share fun ideas that would totally work for me that I get anxious to use--I don't know if I have a meeting like that coming up but God I hope something motivates me soon. I also normally have my and Dax's school clothes purchased by now (ALL OF THEM) oh no, not this year: Dax has all his new shirts and I have 3 new outfits. Dax starts football on Monday and it is craziness during the season, we are constantly on the go and I have to get all the school shopping done before Thursday. Oh and Tel starts preschool so he needs new clothes and backpack too. The list goes on, you can now see why I am down and want to escape to a tropical island. Boo hoo me. I will try to be more funny and upbeat next time.

Back from Maui

After flying the friggin red-eye home and being completely out of whack with the time change; I am home. This picture was taken from our condo balcony. No shit, this is what I woke up to every morning (notice the lack of sun, we woke up at 4 am Hawaii time EVERYDAY! Note: that is 8 am MT) I never once missed home. I missed my children a couple of times but after talking to them I was good to go. My hubbie and I went alone for our 10th anniversary and it was bliss. I tried snorkeling for the first time and LOVED it. We purchased one of those disposable underwater cameras for our snorkeling cruise, the pictures are ok, but they definitely help us remember how beautiful the underwater world looks. We went on a guided tour to the "other" side of the island to a town named Hana (pronounced H-AU-NA). It is undeveloped, one hotel and it is really costy. Beautiful rain forests, waterfalls, lots of fruit on the side of the road. Just beautiful. We had reservations for a Luau, but after seeing the block long line we cancelled (we have been to authentic luaus before so no love lost there). On our actual anniversary we went on a 3 hour (yea, yea funny: Gilligan's Island) sunset dinner cruise. The food was great, the view unbeatable, but the Mai Tais and Blue Hawaiians were the best--maybe because of the fresh juice used. It was awesome, anytime we were on a ship there was an open bar with FREE DRINKS!! NO LIMIT!! Neither of us partook (word?) of too many we were unsure of the alcohol intake laws and driving in Hawaii. Next time we will find a D.D. or leave the rental at our condo and use a taxi. 7 days seemed like enough toward the end of the week but now that I am home, it wasn't long enough. We have already started planning our next trip to Maui, but we will take the boys then. Thinking in two years so that Tel is 5 and can take part in the activities that are offered. If ever you get the chance to go, do it. It is definitely worth the money.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me??

After my morning gym visit and on our way to swimming lessons, Dax replayed a conversation Tel had with one of the playroom attendants (who are super cute and always have nothing but GREAT things to say about my children which I know are totally biased because they can be little assholes and one day they were actually fist fighting and the girls STILL said how cute and polite they are and how much they love having them around). The youngest attendant (she is maybe 19 and so sweet) asked Tel if she could be his girlfriend. Tel replied "no I already have a girlfriend". The girl asked who it was thinking a friend would be named I'm sure. Tel answered "my mom!". So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, when it seems like you are having the worst hair day and that huge pimple won't go away just remember you are probably the HOTTEST person to one of your children. Every night as Tel is drifting off to sleep (remember he sleeps with me--yea, yea I know the lines...) he says "You are my girlfriend, you are my mom, you are my Darcie, and you are my bestest friend that ever was". I hope he feels the same way when I ground him from a football game, or whatever, when he is a Junior in high school.

I leave for Maui in, not counting today, 3 days. I have last minute things I need to purchase and will do so tomorrow; like a new memory card for my camera, sunscreen, a charger for my Ipod that plugs into a wall socket, a new hairdryer and diffuser, and a jacket that will go with shorts, jeans, and a sundress. This is where you come in: where would I find a jacket in July? What kind of jacket would fit that need? I was thinking a dark jean jacket??? Whadayathink?

Ramble, Ramble

I am so ready to be out of my house! It has been on the market for a little over a month and we have only had 1 walk through but a ton of people pick up flyer's--I am getting discouraged. I realized that I was done with this house when I no longer take pride in yard work (which used to be my Zen therapy) and I only clean just in case I get a call for a walk through (cleaning, too, helped relieve stress). I know the "market" is slow but come on! Throw me a bone already. I am also nervous to move out of this house and into a rental & storage unit at the same time I am starting a new school year. On the flip side I don't want to spend Christmas in a rental nor do I want my hubbie building our dream home through one of our cold, wet winters. I guess I'm just screwed. I need to realize I can't have it all. 8 DAYS UNTIL MAUI--WITHOUT CHILDREN!!
That is my only silver lining at the moment. Oh, back to the yard work. I used to LOVE pulling weeds and beautifying my yard but I dread it now. I have resorted to putting one of my goats inside our little fenced area so she can eat weeds rather than me picking them (can you say REDNECK?). For curiosity purposes, here is a link to see my house http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes/kanarraville-ut/
scroll down, it is the house with the red roof and beat up car in the drive. My hubbie has his dream truck and I the family SUV but because of gas prices and his LONG commute, we own a Plymouth Neon who has seen better days. It was supposed to have been moved so that it wasn't in the ad pic, but it was out of gas. Have any of you drove home from work and parked your car and NOT realize that you were out of gas? I have never had this happen but shit like that happens to Jesse all the time so I wasn't too surprised. I hope the link works, I'm not too tech savvy. That is all I have, nothing funny, nothing to bitch about, just THAT.

BBQ Chicken

I have been trying, this summer, to become more independent around the house. I caulked a portion of the bathroom I've wanted done for some time but decided to quit complaining to my hubbie about it because he sure as hell wasn't going to do it. It turned out alright. I decided that BBQ chicken sounded good and very summery I might add but due to Jesse's shitty work schedule I would have to wait a few days for him to do the grilling. AHHHH... (insert heavenly sounds) I would buy a bag of charcoal and do it myself. I dumped the charcoal in the grill and tried to light it--nothing. I remember Jesse would add some gas, so I followed suit. Much to Dax's amusement, and two tries, I about lit myself on fire, almost shit myself and had an inferno for about 10 seconds. WTF??? I decided I would get a old limb from my apple tree and start it like a campfire. The stick burned for about 60 seconds and smoked like a son-of-a-bitch. Ok, I'm pissed now. I thought paper was the answer, and you can probably see what is coming from this. It burned and started floating away like paper does. GGGGRRRRREEEEAAAAT! I'm going to torch the whole neighborhood. I decided to come inside and preheat the friggin oven because I am obviously inapt to do this. No I'm not a complete moron: I put the lid on the grill so that the paper wouldn't ALL float away. After preparing the chicken and while waiting for preheat light to come on, I decided I would check on the grill. OMG--It was a smokin!! I opened it and the charcoal was turning grey!! YEA!! I ran inside and grabbed my plate of raw poultry and began slopping it onto the grill. At 20 minutes I checked on it and it's grilling nicely, just like on TV (with the yummy smell included of course). 45 minutes and I notice both sides are darkening....I realize I have absolutely NO idea how to tell if grilled chicken is done. I don't want to kill my family with some undercooked bird. WHAT DO I DO? Panic, darty eyes, constant flipping of the chicken pieces, slicing one open and realizing I don't know what I'm looking for... OHHHHHH SSSHHHHHIIITTTTT it'll be black in no time.
Oh good, Jesse just called he is running late but will be home in about 10 minutes. So much for BBQ independence.

List.....

I have a ton of bitching going on inside of me right now and no one is to blame and if I were to vent aloud many would be hurt...maybe.
1. My house isn't selling as fast as I had hoped and I'm afraid it will happen so that I will have to move at the same time I'm starting a new school year
2. My sister is still angry at me and I at her and it looks like nothing will fix it
3. Along with #2, my youngest needs a hair cut and because his hair is SOOOOO thick, course, and curly I don't trust just anybody to cut it and Day is still not speaking to me (I do understand it is a two way street, but heavy shit went down this time. Not just water under the bridge)
4. I had a niece born and was told her name was going to be Tori Rachel which is cutesy enough for a little girl but could be refined enough for a mature woman. Her mother changed her mind when baby was en route--Tori Kenzie is her name. Come on...that is either a little girl name forever or she will already have a stage name when doing unmentionable things to strange men holding dollar bills. I normally don't pass judgement on naming children, my children have "unique" but meaningful names but Tori's sister was named Brooklyn Nicole, what happened to...ugh I don't know how to explain.
5. I am taking a class toward my Master's (it is really short, like a crash course in 10 days) and the instructor decided we should break into pairs and teach the class an assigned chapter. I go tomorrow and I am totally freaking!!! I could talk to a room of 1000000000 students all day long, but give me 2 colleagues and I am a total flushed, babbling idiot.
6. Because of said class I haven't been able to make it to the gym and I feel like I'm gaining back pounds by the minute. It really helps my stress level by sweating my guts out and lifting weights until I can no longer hold my water bottle with one hand--so the freaking out is doubled because of non-attendance.
7. I haven't cleaned my house in days. Most of you wouldn't notice if you came by (I have cleanliness OCD) but I do and it really doesn't help things but I haven't the time to do it: class, kids, posting blogs.....
8. I've been trying to get used to my hair being fixed curly instead of straight because it is so humid in Maui that I thought I wouldn't even try the fight of straightening. I have now found that after 29 years of banishing my loose, ringlet perm-like curls they have finally gone by the wayside: NOW WHEN I WANT THEM!! Why must things go like that in life?

I guess I should get back to my power point, I'm hoping that the class will be so glued to it that they won't look at me then maybe I can assure myself I won't pass out. No, it hasn't gotten easier in fact I think the older I get the more afraid of speaking to a group I get. GREEEEAAAAAT!

Final note that has nothing to do with anything:
Tel just devoured his noodles like a dog even though the plate was on the table and the fork laid properly on the right side on top of a folded napkin. I did not see it happen, he came in to tell me about it because he was so proud of himself (FYI just in case you are calling me a hypocrite right now: Tel's name comes from a series of novels my husband is in love with and it means "story teller" which he is)