Dahli Lhama (sp?)

I have just realized that I have become far too into myself. For years I lived for my relationship with my boyfriend, completely abandoning who I was, what I did, and who I did it with. Then that turned into living for my hubbie (same as before mentioned boyfriend) but now it was not only not having a life outside of married togetherness it also included scrubbing toilets, washing another person's dirty underwear, oh and picking them up first from wherever hubbie discarded, and cooking (this was NEW, I had NEVER cooked before and to this day I'm not very good). Along came kiddo #1 and lo and behold life change! My days revolved around what he wanted, needed, or what he didn't want or need. Again no social life outside of park, family, to and from school, and work. I lived for my son and he has turned out awesome. This continued into my life revolving around 2 sons and one day I looked at myself in the mirror, realized I had gained 30 pounds, didn't have a career (just a job), dressed like a 40 year old grandmother, took pride in having the cleanest house in the entire country, etc... I was done, what happened to ME? I worked my ass off, literally. Dropped about 35 lbs, trashed my clothes and started spending money on myself--not Jesse, not the boys, ME. My house has gone to hell, my boys are still spoiled and I do all the "what makes you a better hands on parent" shit, but I think I have, again, went too far on the spectrum. My life now revolves around the gym, shopping for shoes and clothes, going on vacations (with and without my boys), constant change in hair color, cut, style--I need a fresh start to find a happy medium and I think the answer lies with the Dahli Lhama. Didn't John Lennon regroup with those guys? He came back with all the answers he needed--like what parties should he go to, where should the band play next, should the band get back together (all the important famous rockstar dilemmas). No I'm serious. I know you guys think I am the biggest bitcher but I save it all for you. I am sickening peppy at school, super mom with my boys, and a so-so wife someone has to take the brunt of it all. Help me, how do you find a happy medium between being you and being this role of mom/wife/housekeeper/super teacher/tutor/farm hand/pornstar (nah, I'm just kidding with that one :) ) Downer post I know but I had to vent!