Quit Your Damn Whining...

That is exactly the response I would get from my mother, whom I so dearly love, whenever I was saddened by anything, worrying about anything, just any negative vent I had on my mind.
I know second blog today. You're probably thinking WTF doesn't this chick have any responsibilities--but that is just it. I have had a lot of time to think today, my youngest had an abnormally long nap. I had the hardest time being my normally peppy self at work today. Remember, I am a social studies teacher at an alternative high school. I usually really enjoy being at work, take pride in what I teach, and try to project my love of learning to my students but today I couldn't muster up a real smile-- yet I put on a pretty good fakie. Today was the first day of the 4th, and last, quarter. Friday afternoon I was pumped for today: fresh start, last stretch we were going to do great things; today NOTHING. I went back to school, earned a 2nd BS and accumulated more student loans, because I wanted to teach. It was the ONLY thing I wanted to do and yet today I am asking myself "what the hell am I doing". I have no great ideas for my new unit in geography and I'm getting a new student in there at the same time. My psychology enthusiasm has vanished and my strongest most unquestionable love of US government has gone by the wayside---I couldn't even remember who wrote the friggin Bill of Rights. I didn't want to be there, I don't want to be there tomorrow, what has happened to me. I am saddened and disappointed in myself: the self-proclaimed peppy instructor and striver of teacher of the year. Help me, don't give me smarmy shit, I don't need my ego boosted, I need answers: why is this happening and how the hell can it leave/change?? So instead of spending excessive time online creating new activities for class I have blogged twice, written to and replied to every friend I have via email--I will now indulge myself in some Myspace catch up (yes, I am still falling victim to its lure). At this time I will pretend I have bawled my eyes out and vented to my mother all of the thoughts I have posted and think to myself how she would and has always replied "oh, quit your damn whining nobody has it easy"