That is exactly the response I would get from my mother, whom I so dearly love, whenever I was saddened by anything, worrying about anything, just any negative vent I had on my mind.
I know second blog today. You're probably thinking WTF doesn't this chick have any responsibilities--but that is just it. I have had a lot of time to think today, my youngest had an abnormally long nap. I had the hardest time being my normally peppy self at work today. Remember, I am a social studies teacher at an alternative high school. I usually really enjoy being at work, take pride in what I teach, and try to project my love of learning to my students but today I couldn't muster up a real smile-- yet I put on a pretty good fakie. Today was the first day of the 4th, and last, quarter. Friday afternoon I was pumped for today: fresh start, last stretch we were going to do great things; today NOTHING. I went back to school, earned a 2nd BS and accumulated more student loans, because I wanted to teach. It was the ONLY thing I wanted to do and yet today I am asking myself "what the hell am I doing". I have no great ideas for my new unit in geography and I'm getting a new student in there at the same time. My psychology enthusiasm has vanished and my strongest most unquestionable love of US government has gone by the wayside---I couldn't even remember who wrote the friggin Bill of Rights. I didn't want to be there, I don't want to be there tomorrow, what has happened to me. I am saddened and disappointed in myself: the self-proclaimed peppy instructor and striver of teacher of the year. Help me, don't give me smarmy shit, I don't need my ego boosted, I need answers: why is this happening and how the hell can it leave/change?? So instead of spending excessive time online creating new activities for class I have blogged twice, written to and replied to every friend I have via email--I will now indulge myself in some Myspace catch up (yes, I am still falling victim to its lure). At this time I will pretend I have bawled my eyes out and vented to my mother all of the thoughts I have posted and think to myself how she would and has always replied "oh, quit your damn whining nobody has it easy"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Ok--not a pep talk...
BUT
You are doing so well. It's amazing to me how put together and organized and energetic you are. Maybe you can't think of something new to do because what you're doing is working just fine! Maybe your body and your brain just want to coast for a little bit, and that's OK.
Post a Comment