Tweeker

That is how I've been feeling for the last few weeks. You'd think I would gain a tolerance over 30 years, but still waiting. I have had super bad allergies since birth and the warm spring weather combined with the strong winds (just the last 4 days) have really sent me in a tailspin. Watery, itchy eyes; runny, stuffy, itchy nose; itchy throat; sinus headaches; and coughing like a 20 year smoker. I HATE IT, but not as much as I hate being on my meds. I really don't know how people become tweekers (noun; person addicted to amphetamines/speed). I take my meds to relieve the symptoms (which I have yet to find a pill that takes away all of my allergy problems for the day--any suggestions?). I really appreciate the initial burst of energy and ideas: I come up with good lessons while high and I can clean a house in record time! But next comes the cotton mouth: I drink water like a fish, am constantly licking my lips and wiping the sides of my mouth, not to mention my inability to speak fluidly. If I were a high school student I would've turned my ass in for the blatant display of extra curricular activities. Next is the blood shot and dilated eyes. I actually put Visine in twice before I leave the house in hopes of ridding the redness. The worse part is the paranoia--side effect of the pseudo ephedrine. I just know people are looking at me and thinking "she is high as a kite", my students are thinking "Mrs Hirschi knows how to roll". People are going to think I'm snorting a line every time I go to the restroom. At night, once the pill wears off, I realize that it was nonsense paranoia brought about by the allergy med and try to talk myself out of the irrational thoughts I will have the next day. How can anyone get beyond the irrational paranoid thoughts that come with amphetamines? NOTHING is worth it--even the much needed energy. Well, I think I will eat dinner and shower so that I can begin my pep talk about what is reality and what are just crazy thoughts brought about by a day of popping allergy meds, as prescribed.